Sometimes, a single, unpleasant thought or worry can pull us into hours of overthinking — without us realising when we slipped into the spiral.
If this feels familiar to you, here are 3 tips to help you interrupt patterns of overthinking:
1. Ask yourself whether you’re problem-solving or ruminating.
When you notice you’ve started overthinking something, ask yourself:
Is this thought helping me find a solution, or am I going over the same situation over and over?
Sometimes, we try to think our way out of problems. But it’s important to remember that not all thinking helps us. Even if it feels productive, if it leaves you feeling worse or spending hours trying to fix or ease your mind, that’s often more aligned with rumination.
Recognising the difference between problem-solving and rumination can help you break the cycle of unhelpful thinking.
Problem-solving might sound like:
“My tone just now towards my colleague felt quite off. I hope he didn’t think I was being rude. I feel bad about it, but I’ll clear it up the next time I see him.”
Here, the worry is being acknowledged, but it isn’t going into a loop of overwhelm. It’s okay to notice and feel bad, but not to let yourself stay there.
Ruminating could sound like:
“Oh no, my tone came across the wrong way. I wonder if he finds me rude and won’t want to catch up after work anymore? Ahhh, why?! I should text them right now.”
In this case, the fear feeds the anxiety and overthinking and leads to more worries.
It can be difficult to break out of ruminating, but one way of doing it is by breaking the fear and tell yourself:
I notice I’m ruminating. This thought isn’t helping me solve anything, so I choose to release this worry and focus on doing something else.
Though it might feel simple, responding from a place of confidence rather than fear sends a message to your brain and body that you’re not engaging the loop — that you’re in control and choosing to gently shift your focus.
2. Ask yourself: Is it a situation that I have control over?
If you have control over a situation, then it most likely is something that you can fix. For example, if you suddenly realised you forgot to reply to an important email, you can take action and respond as soon as possible.
On the other hand, some situations are beyond your control, meaning you can’t change or fix them right now. For example, you might worry about how a social event will go. And though it’s natural to have these worries, spending too much time thinking about it won’t change the outcome — and can often make you feel more anxious.
One helpful way to manage overthinking here is to set yourself a time for worrying, or delay to worry:
If you’ve started worrying about it, after 2-3 minutes, tell yourself, ‘Okay, I’m going to get back to what I was doing.’
It’s not about dismissing or pushing away your worry, but about recognising that this situation isn’t within your control, so it’s healthier to shift your focus elsewhere.
3. Are you putting pressure on yourself to feel better immediately?
When we get an uncomfortable thought or worry, we can put so much pressure on ourselves to feel better right away. We might think that, if the thought doesn’t leave our mind, it will ruin our peace of mind. But the very act of trying to stop worrying, pushing the thought away, or forcing ourselves to feel better only creates more worries.
For example, if you think, ‘I wonder why I still feeling anxious about the conversation‘ or, ‘I need ease my worries about this party before it happens,’ your mind automatically adding pressure that you don’t want.
Take some moments to imagine what it would feel like if you lightened the load for yourself; if you didn’t put any timeline on when you should feel better. You might notice that letting go of the timeline will naturally ease your worry and help you feel better, because you’re giving the thought less attention.
Content for Thought
It takes consistent practice to change mental habits and break the cycle of overthinking, but recognising when you’re in the pattern and choosing a different response can already help you feel calmer and more grounded.
1. How often do you find yourself putting pressure on yourself to feel better quickly?
2. What’s one small step you might be willing to to try the next time you find yourself overthinking?
