Sometimes, a single unpleasant thought can pull us into hours of overthinking. The more we try to quieten the thoughts, the louder they seem to get.
The first step to breaking the pattern is to pause and notice when you’re in a spiral of doubts, so that you can respond with awareness rather than react automatically.
Here are three ways to recognise overthinking:
1. Ask yourself whether you’re problem-solving or ruminating.
If your mind keeps returning to a worry, pause for a moment and ask yourself:
Am I moving toward a solution, or going into spirals that are keeping me stuck?
Problem-solving might sound like:
‘I’m worried about my next meeting with my manager. Let me prepare some notes so I can feel a bit more at ease.’
Ruminating might sound like:
‘What if I mess up? What if I embarrass myself? What if my manager finds me incompetent?‘
Problem-solving is constructive, leading you toward a solution. Ruminating, on the other hand, feels repetitive and exhausting, taking your mind into a spiral.
If you find yourself ruminating, it can help to label the experience: ‘I notice I’m ruminating’ or ‘This is anxiety.‘ Simply naming it creates some space between you and the thought.
2. Ask yourself whether the situation is within your control or outside of it.
Sometimes, it can be hard to figure out whether or not a thought deserves your attention. One way to check is to ask yourself: ‘Is there any action I can take right now that will help move the situation forward?‘
Overthinking often happens when we try and control outcomes. A situation within your control is usually one whether there’s something you can act on now or soon. For example, replying to an email you forgot to look at earlier is something actionable, because you can take a step and resolve it.
A situation is outside of your control if, no matter what you do, the outcome won’t change. This includes other people’s decisions, opinions, the past, or events that are yet to happen. For example, if you’re feeling worried about attending an upcoming event, try shifting your attention to acknowledging the worry and what’s within your power today, This might include self-care through journalling, visualisation, breathing techniques, as well as taking small actions that support your confidence and sense of control, helping you shift the perspective you bring to situations.
3. Check in and consider whether you’re expecting instant ease.
When we get an uncomfortable thought or worry, it’s natural to want to fix it so that we feel better right away. But often, thoughts like, ‘I need ease my worries about the event before it happens‘ or ‘Why am I still worrying about this?’ creates more worries, since the very act of trying to stop worrying or pushing the thought away draws more attention to it.
Instead of trying to eliminate the thought, allow it to exist while releasing the expectation to feel better. Giving yourself permission to experience the feeling without judgment can reduce the intensity of overthinking.
Take a moment to imagine what it might feel like to ease pressure. You might find that simply releasing it will naturally help reduce worries, because your mind is no longer focused on controlling the thought.
Summary
Overthinking is a habit of the mind, and just like any mental habit, it takes practise to change. When you pause and notice you’re in the loop, you give yourself the chance to choose a different response — one that can help you feel calmer.
Content for Thought
What’s one small step you can try the next time you find yourself overthinking?
